无节操友情翻译~
If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on their faces, it's Titian.
如果背景一片黑暗,画中人物个个痛不欲生 --- 此乃提香。
If everyone in the paintings has enormous asses, then it's Rubens.
如果画中人物个个都丰乳肥臀 --- 此乃鲁本斯。
If all the men look like cow-eyed curly-haired women, it's Caravaggio.
如果画中男人都像目如牛眼,满头卷发的娘们 --- 此乃卡拉瓦乔。
If the paintings have tons of little people in them but otherwise seem normal, it's Bruegel.
如果画中密密麻麻都是小人,但除此之外还算正常 --- 此乃勃鲁盖尔。
If the paintings have lots of little people in them but also have a ton of crazy bullshit, it's Bosch.
如果画中密密麻麻都是小人,但还有其他一堆乱七八糟狗屁不通的东西 --- 此乃波希。
If everyone looks like hobos illuminated only by a dim streetlamp, it's Rembrandt.
如果画中的人都像是流浪大叔百年孤寂地站在惨淡的街灯下 --- 此乃伦布兰特。
If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it's Boucher.
如果画中可以随处加上几只肥胖的丘比特或是小肥羊而毫无违和感(或是已经有这些肥胖物种)--- 此乃布歇。
If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it's Michelangelo.
如果画中人个个是赤身裸体的男神,有著惊为天人的六块腹肌 ---- 此乃米开朗基罗。
If you see a ballerina, it's Degas.
只要有芭蕾娘,就是德加。
If everything is highly-contrasted and sharp, sort of bluish, and everyone has gaunt bearded faces, it's El Greco.
如果画中人有著鲜明的色彩对比,脸色发青,营养不良的脸上长着脏不拉几的大胡渣 --- 此乃格列柯。
If everyone - including the women - looks like Putin, then it's van Eyck.
如果画中人物,包括娘们,都长得像普金 --- 此乃范艾克。