Take a sip if Donald Trump says the following words/phrases:
HugeBiglyBig leagueBelieve meTerribleTerrificTremendousWonderfulBeautifulFolksRiggedLike a dogDopeyLiarFraudFailingCrookedMany people are sayingRadical Islamic TerrorismAnd Mexico will pay for it
Take two sips if Trump: 
Claims he was against the Iraq War from the startClaims he was against the Afghanistan War from the startClaims he would have prevented 9/11Claims he would have prevented a war that never actually happenedRefers to America as “a third-world country”Brags about the size of his crowdsBrags about the size of his buildingsBrags about the size of literally anything elsePoints out that he beat 16 candidates in the primaryCalls himself “unprecedented”Calls himself a “phenomenon”Brags that he has a small egoAnswers a foreign policy question without using a proper nounSays he will hire “the best people”Says he will hire “very smart people”Says he will hire Chuck NorrisAnswers a question that is not about his businesses with “I built very successful businesses”Answers a question that is not about his buildings with “I have built great buildings”Claims he started out with “almost nothing”Claims he started out with only “a very small loan” from his fatherClaims he started from the bottom, now he’s hereSays that “We have to be very strong”Says that “We need to be smart again”Says that “We never win anymore”Says that he loves his stupid voters
Finish your entire drink if Donald Trump:
Says that he respects any of the following people he previously bashed:Ted CruzChris ChristieCarly FiorinaMarco RubioBen CarsonCitizens of MexicoReferences the endorsements of:“Many business leaders”“90 generals”The guy from Duck Dynasty Any professional athlete or sports coachScott BaioSays something nice about Vladimir PutinSays something mean about Mark CubanSays something nice about Saddam HusseinSays something mean about Elizabeth WarrenAssures an entire race or ethnic group that he will be “very good” for themUnfavorably compares Detroit/Chicago/Baltimore to Afghanistan/a war zoneCompletely whiffs on a foreign leader’s nameCompletely whiffs on the name of a foreign cityCompletely whiffs on the name of his youngest daughterLevels a charge against Hillary Clinton that clearly applies to him (Examples: Does not tell the truth; charitable foundation is fraudulent; is sexist; has no record of public service)Says that he will be a good president for women because he has “hired many of them”Apologizes for literally anything
Finish all of your beer, then go to the store and get more, and continue drinking until you enter a coma that lasts until November 9, if Donald Trump:
Is judged by TV pundits to have won the debate because he remained upright for 90 minutes, spoke in English sentences, refrained from hurling a sexist insult at his opponent, and “looked presidential.”